My Obese Dog

28 Sep

I have a confession to make; I am ashamed of being seen with my dog, my beautiful sixteen-year-old beagle. It wasn’t always this way. I picked him up from the breeder when he was eight weeks old and I couldn’t have been a prouder mother.

There is a reason beagle puppies are used in a lot of ads, the big soft floppy ears the big dopey eyes are all adorable and even when he was devouring socks, shoes and furniture I found him irresistible. I would always have pictures ready and this is before they were easily accessible on my phone. I had to go to the effort of getting photos printed and of selecting the best ones to have ready to display. I would bore people stupid with stories of his destructive shenanigans.  When people would share stories of the children’s achievements I would pipe in with Charlie’s latest exploits and wonder why would they look at me bewildered.

So how did I go from being proud mother readily sharing photos to walking him in the dark of night to avoid the stares of passersby? Let me point out that he still has those big beautiful floppy ears, kind eyes, and a beautiful nature. It’s just that now he also has an enormous gut, puffy neck and rotund stumpy little legs. He is fat, actually probably obese, who am I kidding he is obese. What I put down to middle age spread has actually literally ballooned into morbid obesity. He doesn’t have any health issues other than his waistline so I have been lucky enough to avoid the vet.

I say lucky because the last time I went he had started to bulk up and I don’t mean for winter. He was starting to carry a few extra kilos and I casually asked if he was overweight. Thinking she would laugh and tell me I was being paranoid I was startled when she replied, “Well he’s not thin.”  I started mumbling something about him always being big boned, her condemning stare and silence put a stop to my mumbling and to that vet.

I know it is ridiculous to blame anyone but myself, I’m well aware Charlie can’t cook his own dinners or help himself to items in the fridge but he will eat anything and I mean anything. His bulk hasn’t slowed him up either; if even a morsel of food hits the floor he has devoured it before you can shout the first two syllables of his name. I caught him once licking the bottom of a shoe I had left at the back door, I had stepped in chewing gum and he was determined to get every last piece out of every ridge in the sole of my shoe. His appetite knows no bounds and I am his enabler.

It’s the eyes, they are so big and round and always pleading with you for just a little bit of whatever it is you or anyone else around you are eating. I used to marvel at what he would eat, it literally is everything. I have read articles about certain foods that are dangerous, sometimes even life threatening to dogs, well we have proved them all wrong, no side effects here, well none apart from the weight issue thingy.

Having been his mother for sixteen years I knew exactly what he thought when I tried him on diet dog food a year or so ago. Remember this is the dog that will happily lick chewing gum off the bottom of my shoe.  He eagerly ran over to his food bowl, I tried not to give the game away, I smiled as I presented his food and talked about how great his meal looked. It only took him a second to smell it, his tail instantly stopped wagging and he looked up at me. He knew and I knew that no matter how much he hated it he would still eat it but the look he gave me was enough. I decided his final years wouldn’t be ones of tasteless, unenjoyable food.

Seeing Charlie is happy to dine on food stuck to the bottom of my shoe I have to accept that his standards of what he thinks are acceptable are pretty low! So that would mean that all these issues are mine and mine alone. I’m not proud to be his enabler, when I give it thought I guess it would be nice to walk the streets in daylight hours and show pictures of him that haven’t been photoshopped. But if was able to do that I wouldn’t have this beautiful beagle with pudgy little legs, a bulbous belly and a thick neck!

4 Responses to “My Obese Dog”

  1. Rosie T September 28, 2012 at 9:42 am #

    So Sam
    What happens when daylight savings commences?- you are going to have to stay up later and later to skulk the backstreets with poor chaz….I wonder how many others are walking the streets with the same problems. Maybe you could start up a late night suburban weight watchers group. Best of luck. lay off the chewing gum Charlie . Rosie xxx

    • quickwittier October 1, 2012 at 12:03 pm #

      Rosie, Daylight savings does pose a challenge but we we will do what we have to do. I’m sure we will come across some other fatty boombaas on our skulking in the dark. It’s not like we can get away from them quickly even if we wanted to!!!

  2. Craig September 30, 2012 at 12:20 am #

    So, applying a dog year/human year calculator, when shall we expect to see N,T & J filling out, and being exercised only after dark?

    • quickwittier October 1, 2012 at 11:58 am #

      We’re working on it! First the dog and then the children. We should have your lot around so we can fatten, I mean, have a play.

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